Has anyone ever been totally happy with his own album? Can anyone ever be totally happy with anything? I think the answer to both questions is probably no, though a good friend of mine, arguing to the contrary, recently alluded to "all those people walking around in an ecstatic self-worshipping delusion in love with the sound of their own juvenilia." I guess there are such people, but most of them are probably in fact just as torn apart by inner doubts as anyone else and just haven't realized that the pretense of auto-enthusiasm doesn't always serve them as well they think it does. I'm not discounting the value of pure bravado, which works way more often and more thoroughly than it ought to. But I find I'm not often very impressed with super- self-confident people: there's rarely much of a basis for such high self-regard, so in the end they tend to seem kind of stupid. (Maybe "happiness" isn't exactly the right word, though happy people tend to seem kind of stupid, too; I suppose what we're really talking about is Satisfaction. But mis-using the word "happiness" in this way arguably creates more arresting aphorisms, so I'm sticking with it.) To adapt a platitude, happiness is just another way to say you've run out of ideas. Or so it seems to me.
Anyhow, we've got a finished, mastered album. I'm still at a loss as to exactly how to characterize it. It was once a collection of disparate ideas and ambitions each with boundless potential, many of them originating many, many years ago; it is now an inalterable artifact. I have to say I'm pleased with it overall, though there are still all sorts of little things I would have done differently if I had known what they'd be.
As I've written before, the process of writing, arranging, recording, mixing and mastering songs amounts to an endless series of compromises, and the compromising begins as soon as you wake up in the morning, before you even touch the guitar. From the very beginning, when it's just you and your guitar and your notebook and your cat in your bedroom, certain choices you make close off other choices. You may leave some questions open, as the cat doesn't really care, but at some point down the road, the choices gradually become more and more permanent, till they are, in the end, permanently permanent. Every point in the process, whether it's the choice of words, notes, chords, beats, sounds, musicians, instruments, speakers, effects, room, mics, etc. unavoidably leaves a mark on the resulting song, some for good, others for ill, most embodying an ineffable combination of good and ill, if such a thing is possible.
Your band will play it differently than you heard it in your head, which will sometimes be an exhilarating improvement and other times will make you want to kill yourself. When you try to get the band to approximate the head version a little more closely, you can wind up with something different from either. The more you play it, the more it changes. You start to wonder whether you can even remember what the original head version sounded like, or whether it was ever any good in the first place. In those cases where the band version is better than the head version, you'll find it extraordinarily difficult to get it to have the same effect on tape as it did when it "happened" that first time. And even if everything goes perfectly and you do wind up capturing the band version of the head version exactly as it was meant to be, you'll still wonder whether something is missing. And you'll be right, of course. Something's always missing.
Once you have all the tracks you can afford, you're faced with the absurd tragedy of mixing, which is like something out of Lewis Carroll: you turn something up, and something else is automatically turned down, as though by a pernicious, invisible hand; you turn that up and something else is turned down; you turn everything up and you're exactly where you began. And so on and so forth. Eventually, all the ideas, the ambitions, the mishaps, the fortunate accidents, the technical, the "spiritual," the result of every compromise and decision great and small must be flattened into two complementary pancakes, one on the left, the other on the right. Once this happens, your further pancake options are closed forever. There comes a time when the only change you can make is to delete the entire track. And at the risk of revealing just how melodramatic and sentimental I am about such things, that is just about the saddest thing I've ever heard of.
Nonetheless, that's where we are now. The one remaining decision, as far as the CD itself is concerned, is whether to drop one song which seems to have missed the mark a bit more than the others. (It's the most sonically adventurous arrangement, so leaving it off would tilt the character of the album towards "normality" in a small but significant way.) The other thirteen tracks, despite my obsessive-compulsive disorder, "feel" completed and appropriate and more or less effectively executed: that is, I believe they manage to get the songs across, which is the main point, and to work together as a whole, which is the other main point. The question is whether the album would be more complete, or less complete, if we leave the song off. I'm not sure if you realize just how amazing it is to have only one song in that category. I've released albums where every song is like that, where the album would be more complete if you deleted the entire thing. Maybe I'm exaggerating there. Though maybe not. Anyway, that song is on the borderline: ditching it will leave a hole, but retaining it might leave a hole as well. The question is, which course of action will result in the most attractive hole? That's the question.
On the whole, though, it's the best-sounding thing we've ever managed. It's certainly the most carefully recorded and planned album I've ever been involved in. And the songs, I think, are quite good. At some point, a point which is approaching very soon, my "happiness" in the matter will become irrelevant. All will be in the hands of a more or less indifferent general public, a small subset of which will take it personally (as they're supposed to) and pick it apart and argue and complain about it endlessly. Each person who bothers to listen to it will create their own "head version" of the album which will have as much to do with their own circumstances, needs, beliefs, etc. as with anything I or the band intended. If the past is anything to go by, some people will say it's the best album we've ever done, some will say it's the worst album we've ever done. Some will content themselves with withering commentary on our hair and clothes, which is in the end perhaps the only truly valid criticism. So it will go. It should be fun.
By the time it is officially released, I'll already be working on the head version of the next album. In fact the next album begins the second the the master arrives, and I'm already well into it. Three months from now, people will mention the "new album," and I'll have to pause for a moment to remind myself that they're talking about the stuff I was doing last year.
Have a good time, and rock out as much as you can. It comes out in about three months. Synchronize your watches.
Sometimes, your own confidence is all you've got when you start out. Though at times, it can seem a bit big headed, it's sort of needed. If no one has ever heard your band, you're not gonna tell them that you sound like shit. You're gonna say that you're pretty decent or else no one would ever listen to it. Or, you could just hand out recordings and hope that they'll actually take the time to listen to it and form their own opinion. But i'm sure your album sounds great.
Posted by: Amy 80 at September 29, 2003 06:31 PMThree months? Augh!
The sooner I can wrap my ears around what is sure to be a delightful fourteen- (or thirteen-) course banquet of sonic wonder, the better.
Posted by: geoff at September 29, 2003 06:39 PMIf you're a lead singer, being vain and cocky is pretty much a professional requirement. You can't sing well if you don't think you're God's gift to the universe. So one needs a "happy" gear at least for those times.
Posted by: JB at September 29, 2003 06:48 PMI'm a little consternated by your clothes and hair comments. We're not in for another "Revenge is Sweet..." album cover, are we? That's the kind of cover that encourages piracy in the heterosexual male demographic, you know.
Posted by: spacetoast at September 29, 2003 06:57 PMWhy not use the tried-and-tested-and-irritating "hidden track" trick to keep the 14th song on the album?
I hate when rockstars leave songs off. More songs = better. Why do they think we went to the store to buy the CD (as I definitely will in 3 months)? We want to hear all that music you made! Why don't the rockstars want to let us hear some of the music they made? *puzzling*
Posted by: Name: at September 29, 2003 07:07 PMPlaying off of Amy80's point, I must agree to some extent about cockyness in rock n roll. However, I think it's because I have a sense of humor more so than anything else. When Oasis say they are infact better than the Beatles, who does not fucking see the humor there. And not in a "haha you guys really are morons" kind of way. I really think they are laughing at themselves as well. (though that period, where they were really cocky, they were also incredibly good) (they may still be cocky, I don't think I've heard any Oasis since Heathen Chemistry). Or the Stone Roses. I mean, their attitude helped to build up hype. And true, if they weren't awesome, their cockyness would just be rather pathetic attempts for attention. But it worked. It added to the entertainment. Anyone who takes cockyness in rock n roll seriously, has to stand back. It's almost parody of itself at this point.
Posted by: chach at September 30, 2003 04:58 AMFrank looks good on that cover, but Jym and Joel should have switched shirts ;)
Posted by: JB at September 30, 2003 05:13 AMI dunno JB...
But look, I think the cover of the new album should look more or less like this.
http://www.moviegoods.com/movie_product.asp?sku=105586&master%5Fmovie%5Fid=10872&affiliateID=206&adID=2269
Good one
Posted by: Georgina at September 30, 2003 09:27 AMDr. Frank, you should stage an accidental "leak" of at least one of the songs. Cowabunga!
-Steve
Posted by: StephenM at September 30, 2003 03:44 PMRegarding the "most attractive hole."
When I've gotten really stuck on that question, I ask myself this question: will anyone who buys the album or isn't already involved in it miss it? Will anyone listen through it and somehow know or sense that something is missing?
Based on my experience, I think that more often than not, the answer is no.
Sometimes though it is yes. Tough call, but for me, the question helps clarify. I personally usually leave things off if in doubt. It's very hard though.
Name: I respectfully disagree. More songs are not always better. Not by a long shot. The CD format hasn't helped matters. In fact, I wonder if the concept of the album is a slowly dying art. The forty or so minutes you were maximally allowed by two sides of vinyl imposed a certain useful discipline. It helped dictate the form, just as sonatas dictate a form or sonnets dictate form. Great art--or just bad ass albums--have been created within those forms. If MTX or any other artist are trying to produce a mere compilation, then yeah, more is maybe better. If you're trying to produce an album, more can be fatal I think.
Posted by: pieter at September 30, 2003 05:43 PMSpacetoast, I would never, ever wish to do anything that might leave the impression that I want to discourage heterosexual male piracy. Far from it. ;-) Thanks for the album cover suggestion-- that's pretty much the sort of thing I have in mind.
As for those who comment in praise of Cockiness, I'm sure you're right. I believe it's probably impossible to write good songs without delusions of grandeur: otherwise you'd never put in all the time and trouble. The tricky part is to cultivate the ability to turn off the grandiosity when necessary so you don't become an insufferable bore in your personal life and a lousy editor in your creative life. To my knowledge, no one has ever quite managed to walk that line without stumbling at least a bit. But I still maintain that self-satisfaction leads to inertia.
Posted by: Dr. Frank at September 30, 2003 06:26 PMspacetoast: that's not a bad idea. But I'd take it a step beyond and call the album "Whatever It Takes To Sell This Album" ;)
Posted by: JB at October 1, 2003 03:55 AMIn all seriousness, I just prefer the Alcatraz/Love is Dead covers as far as that generation of MTX albums...I'm just "feeding back"...
Posted by: spacetoast at October 1, 2003 07:02 AMAlso, Dr. Frank, I know it's a little late in the game, but I really think you should make this a Christmas album.
Posted by: spacetoast at October 1, 2003 07:04 AMHave you heard about New Sting's album? It's great and it worth hearing. And the main theme of his album is very actual!
Posted by: Barbara at October 1, 2003 10:27 AMI've heard painters talk about how their paintings, after hanging around for a bit, aren't theirs anymore, or writers (especially playwrites) talk about losing their work, first to editors or actors and then to the public. That last comment was a neat, first-hand take on the process of creating, producing and unleashing art into the world--from a musician's perspective, no less!
Your songs are yours first (and maybe the cat's), then the band's (as well as the producer's) and then the public's--right down to the individual "head version" level. At some point, it's true, they're not your songs anymore, they're ours--in that permanently permanent version you spoke of.
It strikes me that you must have a huge amount of faith in your producer and your band and their respective abilities to either recreate or interpret the songs as you hear them in your head. And if they don't recreate or interpret those songs to your own liking, then you must have some level of faith in their abilities to listen to and play the songs in some way that means something to someone somewhere.
Well, I can't wait to make the album "mine"--buy it, give it a listen, process it, annotate it, reject it, accept it, love it, hate it, recommend it, scoff at it, and then decide, as I do with every MTX album, that it is the greatest album ever (why doesn't anyone else ever understand this?!)
Sorry for being so long-winded.
Good luck, and thanks for not using the word "cathartic" when you wrote that last entry!
Posted by: sheckie at October 2, 2003 07:19 AMEvery time you go in to make a record and finish the thing in the time you can afford and leave with something that at least sounds good and is a fairly honest document of the songs / band / ideas, I figure you can then afford a little happiness. Whether it's more ecstatic relief or an actual satisfaction with getting the thing finished, despite the imperfections, it has got to be better than finishing a record and loathing it and / or yourself.
But I don't believe Frank is actually *unhappy* with the record. It sounds like a helluva intense set of sessions -- there is nothing harder than trying to make a grand pop record on a low budget -- and richer men than Frank have gone insane seeking studio perfection. Yet the general reports from the studio blogging and even the early mixing sounded pretty "happy," to use a word that has, in these comments at least, taken a terrible beating. Poor little happy.
When you finish any project -- whether it's a record or a book or a long article, etc. -- there is a point when you have to officially let it go. If the creation process was especially smooth (it does happen now and then, and it doesn't mean the art is lousy), you can smile and have a drink and enjoy a few hours / days of relaxation before starting the next project. If the process was taxing, it hurts to finally turn it over to the label / publisher / editor, because you wonder if you could've done better with more time, if you tinkered with it too much or too little, if your judgment has been clouded by examining the work too many times, too closely. But then you've got to hand it over, and in a few months time it will be out there. Then people here & there will buy it or not, a few critics will discuss it, and hopefully it will do its job: to entertain someone for 45 minutes or a few hours or maybe even to become a long-term part of some people's lives.
Anyway, having listened to the eight little songs many, many times this summer, I can't wait to hear the studio results. And that's a whole 'nother fun thing on this end ... will it sound like Alcatraz? Will "London" sound like the lush early '70s Kinks-esque song in my head? What was done with "Monkey"?
Wow, another new album!? Is the "new" new album supposed to be a continuation of this finished one, or something completley different? This is like watching The Two Towers and anticipating Return of The King at the same time (or to a lesser extent, Matrix: Reloaded and Revolutions). Either way thanks for keeping busy, Dr. Frank, and constantly giving us something to look forward to.
Posted by: Michael Lee at October 4, 2003 08:01 PMI would love it if you make a zillion dollars touring and selling records.
Well, if that works for you.
Meanwhile, he said wistfully, I miss your sage blogging.
Which I don't at all want to see you take away time from what you love and what will do you good, to do.
Except purely selfishly.
Just saying. The world also needs your reading and analysis, guy. Preferably you could also make fame and fortune that way, as well. Right?
Posted by: Gary Farber at October 5, 2003 05:19 AMI think MTX is the greatest band I have ever heard. Each album they have produced has been amazing, so I am sure the new one will be the same. All the way from "Making Things w/ Light" and "Big Black Bugs..." to Alcatraz have been truly amazing so whatever MTX does with next one will no doubt be awesome.
Posted by: codeblue at October 7, 2003 01:53 AMFor me there's such a release of stress and pressure the moment the physical (zine/record/web site/bookshelf) creation exists in its final form that, no matter how rough the journey was or how often I felt crushed when a detail didn't go my way, a wellspring of happiness crashes up through the cracks.
To be honest, though, I feel a bit of that happiness when, after debating on eating the green potato chip for too long, I just throw it in my mouth, chew and swallow. No more decisions to make, it's done, for better or worse. It's only later, when my stomach cramps up that I have to deal with whether I'd made the right choices through the whole process.
Posted by: Dave Bug at October 7, 2003 05:04 AM