March 28, 2002

"Have you ever noticed," my

"Have you ever noticed," my girlfriend asked as we were strolling through the streets of downtown San Francisco yesterday, "that an extraordinary number of people in this city seem to have a great deal of trouble walking?"

Well, I hadn't ever noticed it before she mentioned it. But looking around, I had to admit that an extraordinary number of people in this city do seem to have a great deal of trouble walking. It looked like a zombie movie down on Powell Street. They stumble. They sway. They shudder. They drag one lifeless foot behind while the other leg scoots the body forward by means of a series of mummy-like hops. They stop abruptly at random in the middle of the pavement, swivelling their heads slowly, apparently unable to remember the next step in the locomotion process, like Sims boxed in by invisible hedges.

"Do they put something in the water?"

Well, I'm sure they do. But why?

In London, they put acid paint on the buildings to discourage pigeons from roosting. The resulting pigeons all have corroded legs. They hobble around like San Franciscans.

Maybe it's the water. Maybe it's the paint. All I know is, someone is trying to discourage us from roosting, for some reason. More on this story as it develops.

Posted by Dr. Frank at March 28, 2002 07:08 PM | TrackBack