May 09, 2003

I want my organdy snood, and in addition to that...

They're talking about wig-reform again.

British judges and other court personnel are required to wear outlandish costumes which include elaborate neckpieces and sashes and funny little powdered wigs.

Americans find them hilarious, but Brits seem oddly fond of them. I learned this awhile back from Natalie Solent, who offered a stirring defense of the wig-wearing tradition when I made an offhand derisory comment. And I whole-heartedly agree. Weird traditions should never be jettisoned without a great deal of thought. I'd hate to see the wigs go, in the same way I was sad when they tore down the Pussycat Theater at 51st and Telegraph. A world without judicial wigs would be as colorless and empty as a world without The Vibrating Women of Hong Kong. That's where we're headed, and, as always, we should savor the present just in case the future ends up sucking.

Still, though I'd vote for them, they are funny. (Especially, for some reason, when worn by women.) You keep expecting the bewigged m'luds to burst into a ribald song, or say "wait for it" or "oh no, he's not..." Hilariously, many who defend the wig 'n' fancy dress tradition do so on the theory that it inspires respect and solemnity. Maybe you have to grow up with it in order for this solemnity to kick in.

Check out number four in the judicial costume slide show, the current get-up of a circuit judge:

This current outfit comprises knee breeches, stockings and buckled shoes with a lace jabot under a violet robe, a girdle and tippet (sash) over the left shoulder.

The lilac is a friendly colour that is "flattering and invites communication."


I'll bet it does. Feeling solemn yet?

It brings to mind the "Dress Me Dress Me Dress Me" song from the Dr. Seuss movie the 5000 Fingers of Dr. T:

I want my leg of mutton sleeves, and in addition to those
I want my cutie chamois booties with the leopard-skin bows.
I want my pink brocaded bodice with the fluffy fuzzy ruffs
and my gorgeous bright blue bloomers with the monkey feather cuffs.

If this judge thing doesn't work out, she could always try to get a gig as Queen of the Leprechauns.

Posted by Dr. Frank at May 9, 2003 11:01 AM | TrackBack