February 23, 2005

Henry Kissinger

More found stuff.

I have been sitting on this for awhile, because (a) it's the greatest bundle of found materials I have ever had in my possession, and part of me almost feels like keeping it to myself; (b) there's so much of it that I don't know where to begin sharing it; (c) I can't quite figure out how the various pieces are related to each other (though they definitely are), so the whole collection is hard to frame it as a "story." You have a sense, looking at this stuff, that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, as they say, but it's kind of hard to put your finger on exactly how this is the case. That said, some of the parts are pretty spectacular.

I posted a transcript of one of the peripheral letters awhile back, a letter from November, 2000 from one Dannie to a Chris. (The name Dannie/Danielle turns up in some of the other materials, though this letter is Chris's only appearance.)

The meat of it, though, is a portion of diary of a girl named Ellie. It is on twelve closely written pages, and covers 30 days in 1975, when she was 15. It's possible that Ellie is Dannie's mother - there's some other evidence that may support that theory, though I'm not certain about that. How this 1975 diary ended up being kept with all of these other more recent documents is only the one of the intriguing puzzles here.

The diary begins:

1 - 8 - 75 pg. 3
Hi. Last night I took Mario out to dinner. It was fun. The bill came to fuckin 17 something. The waiter looked like a pirate. I was stoned, so he tripped me out. Here I am, 15 years old, & I've been already been laid about a dozen times. (which really is nothing compared to what itll be like on my wedding nite!) but just the principal of the thing bothers me. I bet you could ask anyone: what would you say about a 15 year old gettin screwed? Too young, little tramp, bitchy slut, WHAT? I don't care, but sometimes I feel so guilty. Yet I love it - Mario is a good ball. (HA HA) What a cliché. Last night after dinner we went up to twin peaks & threw down the back seat of his fathers station wagon. The first one was good (we did it twice) the second wun we almost got busted by the fuckin pigs. They were shinin the lite, but I don't think they saw cuz the windows were fogged up. I hope I get fired from my job. I hate it so much, but I love the money.

You know what. Dad is a MOTHER fucker. He's such a FUCKER. Before I pretended to hate him, & I sorta did, and I wanted 2 be close 2 him again. But now, he's pullin 2 much shit, so I really do hate him now. I get my permit soon. [illegible] be jammin perhaps? Henry Kissinger. I'm writing bigger. I must NOT write big. I must NOT!!!! (He-He) I'd like to be a comedian. I like to make people laff. You know - I didn't think I could ever hear myself saying this, but I can't wait to get married! But there's a catch - I only wanna marry Mario. I would marry him right now if he asked me. I pray to GOD (or whoever) that we never split up. I love him so much. Sometimes he gets me pissed, & I hate him. But it don't last long. I want to be with him all the time. But now that I think about it, I don't. I like him better out of school. I feel more relaxed, & I enjoy being alone w/him. What is this bull shit I'm writing? Hoo noes? I'm gonna take drama next semester. Far out, I'll be acting, I love to do that...

Posted by Dr. Frank at February 23, 2005 02:41 PM | TrackBack

It's one of the universalities of life. Without exception, all dads are mother fuckers.

Posted by: dave bug at March 17, 2005 04:58 PM