The mother of all personal ads:
WHERE N THE HELL ARE THE AVERAGE LOOKING SLIM OR BIG OR CHUBBY OR THICK OR GIRLS I KNOW THERES 1 GIRL OUT THERE THAT HAS ALOT MEAT ON THE TUMMY AND A BIG ASS IF YOUR READING THIS PLEASE EMAIL ME BECAUSE IM LOOKING TO SPOIL YOU AND TAKE YOU PLACES AND INTRODUCE YOU TO PEOPLE YOU ONLY SEE ON TV OR IF YOUR READING THIS AND YOU HAVE A THICK FRIEND PLEASE HAVE HER EMAIL SPREAD THE WORD AN RECORD EXECUTIVE WANTS A GIRL WITH A BIG GHETTO BOOTY AND I DONT CARE ABOUT THE FACE ALSOIM LOOKING 4 A GIRL WHO WANT A GOOD MAN IN HER LIFE I NEED A GIRL WHO LIKE GOING TO CONCERT, INDUSTRYPosted by Dr. Frank at April 6, 2005 02:10 AM | TrackBack
PARTIES AND YOU MUST FEEL COMFORTABLE BEING AROUND CELEBRITIES BECAUSE IF YOU ARE MY GIRL YOU WILL MEET PEOPLE IE JAYZ LENNY KRAVITZ D ANGELO JANET JACKSON JADAKISS I MEAN THE LIST GOES ON AGAIN IM WILLING TO PROVE. THE GIRL CAN BE THICK OR CHUBBY I LIKE CHUBBY, THICK GIRL U CAN ALSO BE SLIM OR AVERAGE LOOKING I HAVE NO PROBLEM SPENDING AND SPOILING MY GIRL IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME AGAIN IM WILLING TO PROVE IF YOU U DONT BELIEVE ME AND WON’T LET ME PROVE IT TO U
THE 4GET U If YOU THINK ITS WRONG FOR A GUY TO SPEND AND SPOIL A
GIRL DONT EMAIL ME BECAUSE IM A VERY CUTE GUY I STAY WITH A LITTLE MONEY N MY POCKET AND I LIKE TO SPOIL MY GIRL IF YOU WANT A GUY WHO LIES IM NOT HIM BUT IF U R LOOKING FOR A GUY WHO HAS HIS OWN APARTMENT AND GO TO COLLEGE AND WITH A CAREER IM YOUR GUY EVERYTHING I SAY IS TRUE AND IM WILLING TO PROVE FOR THE FEW WHO DONT BELIEVE ME I AM A CUTE GUY I HAVE A CAREER I AM A A&R TALENT SCOUT AT A RECORD LABEL ANYBODY I REPEAT ANYBODY WHO DONT BELIEVE ME LET ME KNOW SO WE CAN MEET AT MY JOB, I AM A VERY SUCCESSFUL TALENT SCOUT I'VE WORK WITH JAY
Z 50 CENT AND NOW JANET JACKSON AND LENNY KRAVITZ AND YOU DONT BELIEVE ME IM WILLING TO ME AND PROVE
Wow, that's really something...
Posted by: Amy 80 at April 6, 2005 02:28 AMDIZAMN! How do we get in touch with him? I'm thicker than blood. Blood in the metaphoric sense, I'm saying. Not to imply that I'm not thicker than blood in a literal sense. I'm thicker than every type of blood you can think of! Or see!
Posted by: christopher at April 6, 2005 02:46 AM*chortles heartily at coloful underprivelaged urban folks*
dear me, what a hoot!
now where's that starbucks?
Great, now I have to get a plane ticket, take time off from work and meet this guy at his job just because I don't believe him. This sucks. Thanks alot, Dr. Frank.
Posted by: josh at April 6, 2005 03:00 PMOh jesus christ. I'll probably be in trouble with the school marm for being rude in here again, but for godsake pops mcgee, pull that carrot out of your ass and learn to enjoy life's little treats. I don't know you from Adam, but I'd wager you consistenly keep an eye out for signs of social elitism cloaked in alternative humor 24/7. You equate people who drink overpriced coffee with those who can laugh at something which is blatantly funny. I don't even like coffee, and I think this ad was funny as shit. So take that.
I think you are racist and classist, actually. this guy comes right out and says he has money, is in college, has a good job, etc. Yet just because he references people like Jay z and Nas, you consider him "underprividged"... and "colorful"? Just go and say it - we are bad white people making fun of poor negros on our expensive computers! And you won't stand for it!
"if your world was all black, and your world was all white, you wouldn't get much color out of life, now, right?" - The Beastie Boys
Funny is funny, pops mcgee. and funniness transcends skin color and social ranking. get over it.
"Funny is funny, pops mcgee"
I wish I had the power to influence society enough that this could become a colloquial phrase along the lines of "bob's your unlce." It would probably be used someting like this:
Person 1: "Man I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
Person 2: "Yeah, well. Funny is funny, pops mcgee, but those hostages aren't getting any younger."
I have no idea what it should mean, but I think it has a nice ring to it.
Posted by: josh at April 6, 2005 08:34 PMCall me country bumpkin, but aren't Janet Jackson and Jay-Z a little past the "Dealing Directly With A&R Talent Scouts" phase of their careers? Or do i just not know anything about the music business? Okay, i'll concede the latter, but the former seems like a stretch.
Posted by: c. at April 6, 2005 08:38 PMYou know, C. brings up an interesting point and it opens an entire can of worms. Perhaps this guy isn't being totally forthcoming about his life, perhaps this whole "a&r" shtick is nothing but fancy bait to lure in the homely-faced, materialistic fat girl of his dreams. You never know!
And yes, "funny is funny, pops mcgee" does have a nice ring to it. If anyone ever makes a coffee mug or t-shirt with that phrase on it, you can keep the profits but please give me some free product. thanks.
Posted by: christopher at April 6, 2005 09:20 PMWow. I had trouble reading through all of that. Next time it might be more believable that he is a record executive if he uses some puncuation. Or real words.
Posted by: Manda Magpie at April 6, 2005 10:30 PMI agree. The run-on sentences are terrible.
Posted by: Elizabeth at April 6, 2005 11:14 PMI feel this guy's pain. I mean, hardly a day goes by when I don't find myself at some point asking in exasperation, "Where 'n' the hell are all the average looking slim or big or chubby or thick or girls?". It really is a hard knock life.
Or.
Too bad you'll be meeting all of these people at 4:00am while lurking in the bushes outside their houses.
Some of them you might meet before they're hacked up into pieces and stored in this guy's freezer.
All in all it's really a good deal. He's obviously a record label exec.
Awww. The ad's been taken off Craigslist. Now I'll never find true love.
Posted by: Lisa at April 8, 2005 03:42 PMay yo dr. frank we need to talk about some things
give me a call when you get this message at 407-641-5088