April 11, 2005

Look how small I'm writing

Here's another installment of Ellie's (found) diary. (The first installment, and the description of this packet of found materials, is here.)

This section continues the entry for 1 - 8 - 75.

I just talked to Mario. He says he's cutting down on drinking & weed, (only on weekends) Then, he turns around & goes to a basketball game w/Bob, Rodell, & Dinelli, to get high. He says, "I'm not goin to buy anymore lids." But he's gonna go & leech weed off everyone else. I told him. He goes - "why not everyone's been doin it to me for 2 years." How fucked huh. I feel sorry for Patty cuz of Darrells drinking problem. Mario drinks too much too. I'm crying my eyes out right now. Its funny how I was in such a good mood about 1/2 hr. ago.

Mario's saving his money for a haircut. SHIT! He's gonna look like a queer w/a haircut. I'm gonna cry when I see it. I know it. Just like I am now. Look how small I'm writing. I'll need a magnifying glass to read it over. I'm so down. Everytime I finish writing on here, I get in a shitty mood. I've always been pretty good at sorting my feelings, so see try this minor problem - lets see - its probly cuz Im afraid or somethin. I don't wanna wright anymore. Oh shit - stop kidding yourself ass - you know deep inside you'll never marry Mario. You'll split up sooner or later, he'll leave you & you'll both find someone else. It's just that I WANT to marry him so bad. I guess I'm subconsciously (ooh, big word) counting on it. I've got to make myself stop, cuz I'll just get hurt. But actually, it's 2 late for that. I know damn well if he split right now I'd fall to pieces. That's one thing he'll never worry about - he's not that way. Not a fuckin sap. He don't let himself go (fall in love to be exact.) That's what fucks you up, Ellie. Not that he wouldn't be bothered, but I don't think it would effect him that much.

UPDATE: One thing I forgot to mention is that across the top of the first surviving page, Ellie has written: "JERRY GARCIA & MARIO GENTILE -> HA HA HA HA HA HA."

Posted by Dr. Frank at April 11, 2005 05:15 PM | TrackBack
Comments

When you were 15 did you ever wonder what the girls your age filled their diaries with? From what I've seen of this and what I saw of mine and my friends diaries growing up, they're all pretty similar.

Posted by: Amy 80 at April 11, 2005 05:46 PM

I hope she marries Mario; that'll make her happy. He sounds like a really special guy.

Posted by: josh at April 11, 2005 08:12 PM

Since when is "subconsciously" a BIG word?


I agree w/ Josh. Mario sounds dreamy.

Posted by: lucky409 at April 11, 2005 08:26 PM

I don't think I've mentioned lately how pathetic humanity is. Oh, wait a minute, I just did!

Posted by: Zaphod at April 13, 2005 04:22 PM