Dr. Frank's What's-it

Man, I hate it when people make me use Microsoft products, or MS-like products.

I typeset all my crap in TeX, using the vi editor. In fact I'd rather do it in TeX than LaTeX, since you have more control, but sometimes you have to yield to the reality of the situation.

No spell checker (well there is but it's a separate program and you have to invoke it manually), no damn grammar checker, no prisoners, no mercy. Do it right or die, weakling.

I have noticed that the MS Grammar Checker has often "corrected" my grammar to promote incorrect usage, particularly with the "it's/its", "they're, their, there" and "you're/your" usages. It also makes mistakes with noun-verb conjugation agreements. If the MS utility is going to correct your grammar, couldn't it at least do it correctly?

Elizabeth, I think the MSW grammar checker just wants to make an impact on the document, for good or ill, regardless of what may or not be correct. It craves the spotlight, like Lucy trying to sneak on stage at the Cabana Club: even if she can't quite do the right dance steps, and has to wear a ridiculous false mustache that fools no one, at least she's up there. The grammar checker doesn't care if it ruins the show, as long as its voice is heard.

I never understood why anyone would like Lucy. Not the show but the person. She was always screwing up stuff that she had no buisiness messing with in the first place. She was whiny and, dare I say, kind of dumb. The only cool guy on that show was Fred. All tv charachters are based on Fred you know. ALL OF THEM.

If you really want to disable the grammar tool for good, remove it from the Shared Applications: Proofing Tools folder, in the Microsoft Office folder. It won't keep you from using Word. If you try to use the grammar tool, it will just tell you it can't be found. I pulled everything out of the folder that had to do with spelling and grammar and Word worked fine. I don't know how to deal with AutoCorrect, however. But maybe with spelling and grammar gone, it will be less of a hassle.

I just use Adobe InCopy instead because that UI is just more familiar to me. More hospitable. No stupid cartoon, when I access the help files.

Jodi, that's the first useful tip I've had in a long career of trying to solicit useful tips on this subject. I'm glad it works for you, though I'm going to have to see it with my own eyes before I believe it: my sense is that that grammar checker will somehow figure out a way to migrate back to the proper folder, or perhaps recopy itself. It has a strong survival instinct. Whatever doesn't kill it makes it stronger. Maybe the thing to do is not just move it, and not just delete it, but also rename it, break it into segments, and write the segments over with zeroes and random characters for around 100 passes.

I admit, though, I think of the Grammar Checker as my white whale, but there are other pernicious tools and wizards to deal with, and they get mixed up in my mind. I always thought of autocorrect as an arm of the GC, since it seems to try to correct supposed grammatical errors. But now I realize it's more like a minion of all the tools, rushing in to carry out their orders. It sure is irritating, whatever it is. Sometimes it's like playing a video game, where I'll keep hitting backspace and retyping, and the autorcorrector refuses to die, until eventually I forget what I was going to write and close the file.

i personally like the MS spell check/grammar check because it makes me feel smug about humanity. do they really think they can programme all the subtleties and intracacies of language into a computer? language is such a fluid undefined thing, it seems ridiculous to even try. but then again, i'm the type who loves to pick fights with neo-grammarians. they're worse than neo-cons.

curse those green squigglys... curse them!
(insert Homer Simpson fist)

My MS Word story: I was writing a paper on the French Revolution for my World History class. As you may or may not know, July 14th is the French equivalent of July 4th. Wonderful, lovely, MS Word Spell Check changed every instance of July 14th, to July 4th, losing me points and making me look like a fool.

If you're really and truly having difficulty turning the grammar/spell checker off permanently, my SO (who works with this stuff for a living) says you need to do it in Preferences. (You can also teach it to ignore specific "wrongly spelled" words, such as names. It's the first thing my daughter does, as her own name gets flagged. Personally, I don't use Word much, so I just ignore it.) If you have trouble finding where to do it, I can tell you. I just need to know if you're on a Mac or a PC.

well, I'm just so happy that I was useful in some capacity today, since I spent my workday in meeting after meeting after meeting. The problem is, you need to write code to permanently kill AutoCorrect. What kind of code is beyond my ken.

Per http://word.mvps.org/FAQs/Formatting/TameAutoFormat.htm

here is the coding for a macro that you can run when word opens.

"
Sub AutoExec()

With Dialogs(wdDialogToolsOptionsGeneral)
.WPHelp = 0
.WPDocNavKeys = 0
.Execute
End With

With AutoCorrect
.CorrectInitialCaps = True
.CorrectDays = True
.CorrectCapsLock = True
.ReplaceText = True
End With

With Options
.UpdateLinksAtPrint = True
.PrintDrawingObjects = True
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeApplyHeadings = False
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeApplyBorders = False
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeApplyBulletedLists = False
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeApplyNumberedLists = False
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeApplyTables = False
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeReplaceQuotes = True
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeReplaceSymbols = True
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeReplaceOrdinals = False
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeReplacePlainTextEmphasis = True
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeFormatListItemBeginning = False
.AutoFormatAsYouTypeDefineStyles = False
.AutoFormatApplyHeadings = False
.AutoFormatApplyLists = False
.AutoFormatApplyBulletedLists = False
.AutoFormatApplyOtherParas = False
.AutoFormatReplaceQuotes = True
.AutoFormatReplaceSymbols = True
.AutoFormatReplaceOrdinals = False
.AutoFormatReplacePlainTextEmphasis = False
.AutoFormatPreserveStyles = True
.AutoFormatPlainTextWordMail = True
End With

End Sub
"

Per http://users.telenet.be/solvenet/word1.htm#AUTOMATICALLYEXECUTING

Naming your
macro Autoexec when you create it (by selecting Tools, Macro, then entering the name in the Macro Name text box) is your way of telling Word 2000 to run the macro whenever Word launches.

Also as a reference you may want to check out
http://www.tutorialized.com/tutorials/MS-Word/Macros/1

That is all I could come up with, but hopefully one of those works for you .

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/68374006.html

I deleted my Spell/Grammar Check only to find out that it had been sent back in time to kill my mom in the late '70s. It cannot be stopped.