Parents Against Bad Books in Schools provides this Sample Book Review Documentation Form, which recommends this grading system:
For each type checked above also indicate level of vividness/graphicness using the following as a general guide:Violent Content
Basic (B): cut of his head
Graphic (G): cut off his head, blood gushed onto floor
Very graphic (VG): cut off his head, blood gushed onto floor, splattered on wall and head bounced on the floor
Extremely graphic (EG): cut off his head, blood gushed onto floor, splattered on wall and head bounced on the floor and his brains slowly oozed out onto the carpet in a purple gray mass.
Breast DescriptionsBasic (B): large breasts
Graphic (G): large, voluptuous bouncing breasts
Very graphic (VG): large, voluptuous bouncing breasts with hard nipples
Extremely graphic (EG): large, voluptuous bouncing breasts with hard nipples covered with glistening sweat and bite marks
UPDATE: Of course, I couldn't resist filling out the form for my own book. Here it is:
Does the book contain any violent content? Y/N
Y
If yes, check the type(s):
Fights: x (few, VG)
Beatings: x (many, G)
War: x (few, B)
Torture of people: x (some, B)
Torture of animals:
Hangings/executions: x (few, B)
Other (describe): car crash (few, B), nosebleed (many, EG), boxing (many, EG), Foghat (few, EG), forced Catcher in the Rye (many, EG)
For each type checked above indicate frequency of occurrences using following as a guide:
Few: 1 or 2 times
Some: 3 - 5 times
Many: more than 5 times
See above.
For each type checked above also indicate level of vividness/graphicness using the following as a general guide:
Basic (B): cut of his head
Graphic (G): cut off his head, blood gushed onto floor
Very graphic (VG): cut off his head, blood gushed onto floor, splattered on wall and head bounced on the floor
Extremely graphic (EG): cut off his head, blood gushed onto floor, splattered on wall and head bounced on the floor and his brains slowly oozed out onto the carpet in a purple gray mass
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Does the book contain any sexual content? Y/N
Y
If yes, check the type(s):
Kissing: x (many, EG)
Breast descriptions: x (some, B)
Breast touching: x (some, G)
Sex organ contact: x (some, B)
Consensual: x (some, B)
Non-consensual:
Outside marriage: x (some, B)
Within marriage
Sexual assault
Rape
Gang rape
Violence exciting someone sexually
Sadomasochist
Masturbation: x (few, B)
Homosexual: x (few, B)
Erections: x (few, B)
Wet dreams: x (few, B)
Bestiality:
Pedophilia: x (some, B)
Necrophilia
Oral sex: x (many, B)
Anal sex
Other (describe): Asses (many, B)
For each type checked above indicate frequency of occurrences using following as a guide:
Few: 1 or 2 times
Some: 3 - 5 times
Many: more than 5 times
For each type checked above also indicate level of vividness/graphicness using the following as a general guide:
Basic (B): large breasts
Graphic (G): large, voluptuous bouncing breasts
Very graphic (VG): large, voluptuous bouncing breasts with hard nipples
Extremely graphic (EG): large, voluptuous bouncing breasts with hard nipples covered with glistening sweat and bite marks
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Does the book contain any Family Life related content? Y/N
Y
If yes describe any Family Life content not covered under sex or violence above (e.g. abortion, suicide, euthanasia, birth control, drugs, alcohol):
suicide (few, B); drugs (many, B); alcohol (some, EG); vegetarianism/veganism (few, EG); hippies (some, EG)
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Does the book contain any religious degradation or slurs? Y/N
Y
If yes provide brief description/summary:
narrator believes in God out of spite
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Does the book contain any foul language? Y/N
Y
If yes, provide summary of which words and frequency of use:
fuck, ass, underwear, bitch, cock tease, breast, tit, boobies, nipple, bastard, Norman Mailer, Wishbone Ash
This made me smile.
Posted by: Amy 80 at July 16, 2005 12:25 AMPABBIS is a stupid acronym.
Posted by: Megan at July 16, 2005 12:33 AMIs that made up? That sounds made up.
Posted by: Aaron at July 16, 2005 03:42 PMLooks like some one handed typing to me
Posted by: buckeye bill at July 16, 2005 04:35 PM...Parents Against Big Breasts in Schools
Posted by: christopher at July 16, 2005 06:41 PMI was unaware, until just now, that my taste in literature tends toward the EG. Fascinating
Posted by: Mike H at July 17, 2005 04:51 PMImagery is bad, mmkay.
Posted by: josh at July 18, 2005 01:27 PMmore like parents against HOT books in schools....
interestingly 'forever' is not on their list of bad books. hmmm.....
i also liked this on the referral form thing:
"If yes describe any Family Life content not covered under sex or violence above (e.g. abortion, suicide, euthanasia, birth control, drugs, alcohol):"
well now that is some interesting "family life". and god forbid children learn things that are unpalatable to their parents. wow.
Posted by: r a e d y at July 18, 2005 05:46 PM
weelll,that's why i said MOSTLY harmless before,aside from a chance to make a dorky reference to great sci-fi comedy.
i dunno...have to see it in context i guess...
Posted by: just me at July 18, 2005 08:25 PMThat list is a checklist, and you're totally missing out.
I mean, how can your book be complete with out bestial anal gang-rape?
Try harder next time, young man.
Posted by: Sigivald at July 18, 2005 09:51 PMGHOD forbid that kids read about REAL LIFE! Which they probably already know about unless they are so sheltered in their little suburbs with thier church-going christian pay-rents that all they know about is lollipops and fluffy bunny rabbits... yeah right.
I think it would be fun to take up those books as a reading list. Although I've read a lot of those already... and a lot of them I read for school... lots of really good books I think is what their list really is of.
Maybe they should change their name to "Parents against good books in schools"
or...
"a small subgroup of parents against books which they consider objectionable, but are really for the most part pretty well written and quite interesting and in some cases eye-opening to boot...in schools..."
now i really can't wait to read King Dork.
; )
Posted by: kelly lynn at July 19, 2005 03:40 AMCan't wait to get the new paperback at my convenient school library! See ya there!
Posted by: KP at July 19, 2005 06:20 AMyay, now i too cannot wait for King Dork to come out. it will kick Harry Potter's ass, i'm sure <3
Posted by: ahh-leh-han-dra at July 19, 2005 07:19 AMLet's hoist these people on their own petard: anyone out there know enough of the the Bible to do an evaluation? Just on my slight knowledge, there's tons of violence (including episode after episode of family violence), adultery, "seed spilling", disobeying parents, horny language (q.v. Song of Songs), drunkenness and cruelty (sorry, I couldn't resist), homosexual imagery, rape...the list goes on and on. And these people want THAT book in our schools? I'm amazed they even let it into our churches and synagogues!
Posted by: Nick at July 19, 2005 04:55 PMI will keep my broomcloset and office desk drawers filled with copies of "King Dork". Somehow, I'll also be compelled to purchase a copy every time I walk by a newsstand, enter a Barnes&Noble or Wal-Mart and then procede to visit every library in my greater metropolitan area and every library in every town I visit in order to check out every copy of King Dork I can find. I will by then have memorized every line in the book and cite it constantly in daily conversations. I will set up a small shrine to Frank and light candles and incense every night while reciting a passage or two from the book before bedtime. Just kidding, but kind of creepy, eh?
Posted by: Zaphod at July 19, 2005 06:18 PMeh!
Posted by: josh at July 19, 2005 07:37 PMNick: I suspect many Christians would be in total agreement that children shouldn't read the Bible unsupervised.
Just like children maybe shouldn't read books about gang-rape and necrophilia on their own.
(And, really, Debbie, is necrophilia "the real world"? I mean, sure, some occurs in the world, but is thinking that maybe children ought to have some barriers between them and the worst of the world all that bad an idea? I'm sympathetic in the extreme to Lileks' stand on this, which is that sex and violence and swearin' and so on are all find and dandy ... in their place. Which is not in public or in the hands of unsupervised children.
Calling for bans of the publication or sale of such books is an entirely different matter, of course, but wanting them out of a school library, well, I just can't get too incensed about it - even if I think the people doing it are insufferable, which I do - Because the goal still isn't actually unreasonable.)
That said, I still think Frank's next book, which won't be aimed at the kiddies, should have necrophilic group-sex involving badgers. For full points, that is.
Posted by: Sigivald at July 19, 2005 08:19 PMOh, sure necrophilia isn't too publicised, but it wouldn't be there if it didn't exist. Anyway, doesn't it make for a great read?
The real life I was talking about was sort of referring to was more along the lines of more mainstream drugs and sex and less about necrophilia... I don't see what reading about it is really gonna do though... I'm pretty sure these people just can't stand to give their kids the benefit of the doubt.
I think the kids are gonna find out about it though at least by high school (or middle school) especially if they like punk rock (I'm thinking of the song "Code Blue" by TSOL here)
If any kids want to read the dirty bits of all those books, conveniently collected without any of the intervening boring parts, they don't have to go to the school library. They can just go to the website of Parents Against Bad Books in Schools and click the "yes I am 18" link.
The PABBISes will not be responsible for any damage that may result, but still. Maybe they should ban themselves...
Posted by: Dr. Frank at July 19, 2005 11:30 PMI'm still laughing!
Posted by: nicole at July 29, 2005 03:35 AM