December 20, 2005

Uruk Hai

Stalin's half-man, half-ape super-warriors:

In the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a "living war machine".

The order came at a time when the Soviet Union was embarked on a crusade to turn the world upside down, with social engineering seen as a partner to industrialisation: new cities, architecture, and a new egalitarian society were being created.

Posted by Dr. Frank at December 20, 2005 04:06 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Where did it all go wrong?

Posted by: josh at December 20, 2005 04:29 PM

Get your hands off me you damned dirty ape!

Posted by: Zaphod at December 20, 2005 06:22 PM

But I love my groovy gorilla girl,
And her groovy, gorgeous gape, oh
And her fabulous zoo-keeper father
My love looks like an ape
-Rodney Anonymous

God-Schmod. I want my monkey-man.
-B. Simpson

Posted by: Tim at December 20, 2005 10:51 PM

See, that's why the Soviet Union couldn't hold together. They went with apes, whereas the smart countries focused on killer dolphins: http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html

Posted by: Aaron Powell at December 20, 2005 11:59 PM

"a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

Let's see...I'm six foot six...I just got through a painful breakup with my girlfriend and survived o.k...since she left me I've been eating convenience store burritos with little to no adverse effects or discontent...and, sadly, I am covered with hair. Looks like the experiment worked.

"Oooo-wooo, you look like a gorilla"
Dan Vapid, Mopes

Posted by: David Cummings at December 21, 2005 06:04 AM

My favorite line: "Mr Ivanov's experiments, unsurprisingly from what we now know, were a total failure."

Glad we cleared that up. I was worried for a minute.

Posted by: Gary Farber at December 21, 2005 09:01 AM

Linked here, by the way:
http://amygdalagf.blogspot.com/2005/12/new-soviet-monkey-man.html

Posted by: Gary Farber at December 21, 2005 03:40 PM

I know the guy they needed, he just hadn't been born yet. Big man named Randy, former Marine. Resistant to pain? He still has a scar on his arm from where he cut off a tatoo with a lit cigar and a pocket knife. Doesn't care what he eats? I used to serve him on the third shift at Waffle House all the time. War machine? Not only is he a former marine, the time he held off half of the city and county police from his trailer is legend. Ahhhhh, good ol Randy....

Posted by: DNB at December 22, 2005 01:43 PM

In the car on the way to [finally] see King Kong (2005) the other day, a friend said that he had heard that King Kong (1933, with Faye Ray) was Adolf Hitler's favorite movie because it awed him. Maybe if Stalin had succeeded in starting a nation of apes, Hitler would have been to intimidated to attack him...Maybe World War 2 never would have happened (insert dramatic music here).

Posted by: David Cummings at December 24, 2005 04:07 AM

Hey,

"Stalin" in Russian = "Man of Steel" = Superman!

Get it?

Posted by: Man of Steel at December 24, 2005 01:24 PM

I hate to comment...
just.. hey ya!
from Brasil..
hugs

Posted by: shan at December 24, 2005 03:11 PM

""Stalin" in Russian = "Man of Steel" = Superman!

Get it?"

Pretty much when fans talked about it in the 1940s, yes. Also see Alan Moore.

Posted by: Gary Farber at January 6, 2006 07:49 PM

"Hey,

"Stalin" in Russian = "Man of Steel" = Superman!

Get it?"

When fans talked about it during the 1940's, yes.

Also when Alan Moore did a fine job.

Posted by: Gary Farber at January 6, 2006 07:51 PM

Another dead MT blog?

Posted by: Gary Farber at January 6, 2006 07:52 PM