March 01, 2006

What Happens When You Shoot a Gun?

It's been awhile since I've held a Google-ympics, so, well, I here I go.

These are google searches that have brought people to this site recently, divided into categories. The winner is at the end.

(a) simple questions:

yiddish word for football

was nostradamus a midget

what's there to see in london. England.

how do i find a free site to get an obituary dated april 2005?

does justin have a girlfriend

(b) hard questions:

what's plutonic mean

slang meaning of fuck you up

why the beatles sucked

correcting wrinkled hands

what happens when you shoot a gun

what's the good and bad facts for kids watching movies

what to do when a man is insecure

what's the reason for hard nipples

(c) Computer, can you please show me some:

girls in ss uniforms

bipolar people that manipulate and are hateful to family

disadvantages of being stupid

clown poetry

pathological lying and manipulation lack of emotion in teenager

twins having sex in the mud

(d) typing in to the void, when no one else will listen:

am i a sociopath

former president nixon was big republican crook in america

teach me what to do

i am so screwed

would you please just fucking shut up for just one minutes please

why would someone do that

mustaches are gay

(e) asking the computer a riddle:

why was the math book sick

And the winner is:

The Rolling Stones Straussians
Posted by Dr. Frank at March 1, 2006 01:40 AM | TrackBack

i never thought to turn to google like that... like a friend.

Posted by: jodi at March 1, 2006 01:49 AM

Re: "girls in ss uniforms"....kay, I fess up.

Posted by: David Cummings at March 1, 2006 03:34 AM


Posted by: David Cummings at March 1, 2006 03:37 AM

Because it had division problems?

Nah, too obvious. And not really sickness-inducing, per se.

Because of what it 8? Not really grammatical. Because it 812? Too Van Halen.

Hmm, I'm stumped.

Posted by: Wesley at March 1, 2006 06:40 AM

Because it was constantly being handled by children and children carry a good deal of bacteria.

Posted by: josh at March 1, 2006 01:11 PM

Twin girls in SS uniforms having sex in the mud? WOW!!!

Posted by: Zaphod at March 1, 2006 01:51 PM

The thing I always wonder with these is did they, in some way, find what they were looking for? Oh well...My favorites are "disadvantages of being stupid" and "would you please just fucking shut up for just one minutes please." I've talked to some crazy people with computers and I have to say, those don't surprise me at all. Actually, none of them do.

Posted by: Amy 80 at March 1, 2006 05:43 PM

Yes. I love me some Google-ympics...

"why would someone do that": instant classic.

Posted by: Matt R. at March 1, 2006 08:38 PM

here are my answers to selected questions...
1. what's "plutonic" mean?
if plutocracy means rule of the wealthy, and platonic means nonsexual, amicable relationship, then "plutonic" means a nonsexual amicable relationship with someone wealthy

2. [how to correct] wrinkled hands...
drink plenty of water and use a good moisturizing lotion (I like Aveeno) everyday; otherwise, fat injections into the hands are growing in popularity

3. what's the reason for hard nipples?
nipples have a thin layer of muscle tissue underneath the surface. the muscles contract in response to stimuli (touch, cold, sexual arousal, etc.), causing nipple erection aka THO (titty hard-on)

Posted by: Susie at March 1, 2006 09:29 PM

Thanks, Susie - that's really helpful. In my, admittedly a little weird, family, the usual answer to a riddle you didn't know was "to hold his pants up." Kinda like adding "in bed" to a fortune cookie, in that it's usually almost, but rarely very, apt.

Posted by: Dr. Frank at March 1, 2006 09:43 PM