August 24, 2006

King Dork, rock, roll, 9/11, and so forth...

I keep meaning to mention: Random House presents The King Dork Band Name Generator. Submit!

And speaking of band names, Chris Parker, transatlantic King Dork reader and TV writer (for such shows as Hollyoaks, Coronation Street, and East Enders) sends along this story:

In September 2001, my wife and I were on a three-week Amtrak trip across the US. On 9/11, we were staying at the Hotel Triton on Grant Avenue, San Francisco. In our panic and confusion, we looked for the quickest way out of the city and headed for the BART. A lady picked up on our outsider vibes and invited us to come and stay with her, driving us from North Berkeley BART to her beautiful split-level home on Kerr Avenue in Kensington, whereupon she gave us her house keys and went about the rest of her day... We sat around and watched CNN, shell-shocked, until the lady's husband came home from work. He told us about the band his teenage sons were involved with. I asked what the band was called.

"Um... The name kind of changes, I'm not sure it has one right now."

"What's the last name it had?"

A pause. Something weary in the man's eyes said there was no good way out of this.

"Umm... Alfred Bitchcock."

Posted by Dr. Frank at August 24, 2006 06:07 PM | TrackBack

A woman picked you up from a bus station, you accepted the ride, she let you in her home and then left..... I think both you and the ladyt who picked you up violated just about every rule my mother ever gave me about how not to get murdered by a total stranger. ;)

Posted by: Zaphod at August 24, 2006 09:23 PM

a stranger named.... OSAMA?!

Posted by: alfred bitchcock at August 25, 2006 01:21 AM

The generator says my band name should be "Royal Crayolas." Damn, that's good!

Posted by: Don at August 25, 2006 10:58 AM

Even in national emergencies, remember Zaphod's mother's wisdom! Especially in national emergencies...

I got "Flashy Picketers". I could come up with better on my own. (My favorite not-really-a-band is "Pinot Noir and his Nuances of Toast", but Dave Barry thought that up.)

WARNING! If you click on the band cover, it sends it straight to the default printer without checking if you want it printed. That was OK for me, since the default printer is five feet behind me. It would be really embarrassing, though, if you were reading this from work and thought clicking would just give you a larger picture and it got sent to the default printer on the other side of the building and you hurried right over there but when you got to the printer there was your boss standing there holding the printout as if it were a cockroach he'd found in his salad.

Then you'd have to choose between lying, and hoping there was no way to trace the printout to you, or feigning a seizure on the spot, just as a distraction. Unless you could hit your boss over the head and tell him later that *he* had a seizure.

Posted by: Angie Schultz at August 25, 2006 05:26 PM

And after you've received your Official King Dork Band Name, print out a real fake concert ticket with the Concert Ticket Generator:

Guaranteed to fool MOTOS who are kinda dumb.

Posted by: Angie Schultz at August 25, 2006 05:28 PM

"alfred bitchcock"?
that's such an awesome band name.
i'm kind of biased though, i used to be in a band called "julius sleazer"

Posted by: Sean at August 26, 2006 06:11 AM

The Snaggled Bandelaros. I really like that.

I'm still a huge fan of the name St Vincent and the Grenadines. 'Cause, you know, it's a real country that sounds like a band name.

Posted by: Megan at August 26, 2006 08:00 AM