August 28, 2006
This, sent to me via myspace mail, is the kind of message Dr. Frank gets in the bizarro world:
att. dr. frank:
Posted by Dr. Frank at August 28, 2006 03:35 PM
how come you always write pop-punk songs? You're obviously intelligent enough to step outside of standard pop-punk structures and ideas. I understand that punk is probabaly what you 'dig'. Do you not listen to any other type of music? Or do you just not care enough to experiment with different styles of music...?
This is a breadth vs. depth issue. He obviously equates intelligence with breadth of songwriting (writing in many different styles), while others (including myself) equate intelligence with depth of songwriting (the ability of the underlying melody to move you in some way).
I remember the good old days when the kids used to get upset b/c MTX occasionally strayed outside the bounds of pop punk orthodoxy. A typical comment was "The new record is OK, but I like the older, funnier stuff better." I guess you just can't please 'em all, Frank.
breadth vs. depth? what? i thought the only mtx album was "love is dead"? there's more?
Dear Rick Wakeman,
How come you always write prog-rock songs? You're obviously intelligent enough to step outside of etc etc.
Dear Muddy Waters,
How come you always write blues songs? YOu're obviously etc etc.
And etc etc.
He apparently isn't familiar with your catalog.
Why stick to music? Why not try writing a book?
Dr. Frank -- I now feel empowered to express my disappointment that King Dork is written almost entirely in English prose. Hope it's comfy for you inside the creative box, dude.
P.S. Write a symphony, for fuck's sake.
dear lou reed,
why do you write inscrutable theme albums with oddly vain cover photos?
dear dave matthews,
why does your neck get wider but your hair gets smaller?
why do you suck?
dear crosby still nash,
why aren't you dead?
dear president bush,
why did you execute a retarded guy?
we miss you.
Did you at least direct him to the Dynamite Ham CD? Not that it's a great album or anything, but it debunks the idea that your songs adhere to some kind of "structures and ideas" dictated by the genre they are recorded in.
Plus, I could use the ten bucks...
The message could not be clearer. Bring back Surfin' Cows.
okay sorry,i feel a need to stomp on this horse...
Dear Mick Jagger,
Why are you still touring and how is your band still alive? Don't you know you're a has been rocker with lame songs?
Frank, are you an attorney now too?
I bet you're still feeling the burn from the way quotation marks were used to offset the slang term 'dig' which you, like most one-trick-pony pop-punk songwriters, use incessantly.
I'm expecting this to result in a long-overdue resurgence of southern-ragtime songs about girls, courtesy of Dr. Frank's next album.