May 30, 2009

Worst Review Ever


Going to see this re-created William Blake exhibition today:

the poor man fancies himself a great master, and has painted a few wretched pictures, some of which are unintelligible allegory, others an attempt at sober character by caricature representation, and the whole 'blotted and blurred' and very badly drawn. These he calls an Exhibition, of which he has published a Catalogue, or rather a farrago of nonsense, unintelligibleness, and egregious vanity, the wild effusions of a distempered brain...

More WREs here.

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May 29, 2009

Scary St Pancras Ladies


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Guess what I'm typing...


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May 28, 2009

Has anyone read King Dork by Frank Portman?

Question posted on Yahoo! Answers. Anyone?

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If thou drivest a team...


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Merrie Olde Englande


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May 27, 2009

Skiffle Eyes


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May 26, 2009

You can keep your Marxist ways but it's only just a phase

Maybe it's the delirium talking, but the new (to me) £20 note is kind of beautiful.


Title of post from this money program(me):

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May 25, 2009

Auto-Tune the News #3

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May 23, 2009

Go ahead and use it if you want, Chris

I get a kick out of this goofy sword photo I took of myself, so sometimes when I get asked for a promo photo I'll send it instead of a more normal one. I also sent it to my publisher, and Angela Carlino (genius book designer -- wait till you see the design of the new one) kind of got into the spirit of the thing and posted it on her office door.

Recently someone in the office came by and asked if it was a photo sent in by one of Chris Paolini's fans. (Apparently he gets lots of photos of people posing with swords in his mail. Despite the title of this post, I'm not sure if he uses them for anything, or indeed what they could be used for.) This makes me like the photo more rather than less. Though I know not why.


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May 22, 2009



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May 20, 2009

The Bronze Fonz

Milwaukee's statue commemorating the Fonz doesn't look too much like the real thing, at least when it comes to the head. But they did a good job on the thumbs:


Earlier this year, Marion Ross made headlines and charmed the city by putting a scarf and hat on him.


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With 72 fun questions included, you'll never run out of things to ask


72, huh? Interesting...

A.V. Club's Hater has some fun with Hasbro's new, extremely pink, Ouija board for girls.

Cameron the Mad Oujia Board Person has some caveats in the reviews, however:

One how cold you se it because it doesn't glow in the dark! Two it did not conetct with the demonds and sperits for my family!
It seems to lack a certain spookiness, but that carrying case is kinda cool.

(This was forwarded to me by my editor which is the sort of thing that happens when you've written a book about an occult-y girl.)

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"People who routinely pay off their credit card balances have been enjoying the equivalent of a free ride..."

That quote from this article appears to reflect a rather flawed PR strategy on the part of credit card companies and is pretty funny.

(via Althouse.)

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Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire

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May 19, 2009

Lomo 19A9


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May 18, 2009

Spotted Cow


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May 15, 2009

Is it weird for men to tan?

Every day people arrive at this weblog via searches through Google or other search engines. I'm not systematic about it, but I do glance through these referrals every now and then and save those that are funny, weird, disturbing, or what have you. From time to time I'll post a sort of "best of weird searches" item that I have sometimes called the Google-ympics. (In case anyone is interested, past examples may be seen here.)

As always, they have been divided into categories, followed by a final "winner."


naked women writing book reports

ball headed nude women

nude women i know

nude nude women or naked butt

my six year old wants to look at nude women



how old is she

sexy outfits to impress guys

what's the best words to say when looking a girl over the phone u dont know

to take off a moustache permanently do you have to have your period

Dear Internet

should i accidentally text my ex?

why do people exclaim declarative sentences

what's up with van halen

is salma hayek hairy

my beagle is giving birth

Just Wondering...

brane size great dane chihuahua

is it weird for men to tan

what's being done about oral sex

do twins think the same thoughts

what's the word on the street


I'm just a singer in a rock and roll bank

accidentally like a meter

the words to the song if your going threw hell

leaving on a jet plane what's the problem with this song

words that rhyme with penetration

and the winner: the disadvantages of being stupid

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May 14, 2009

KAT-sha-rin R'lyeh

There's not really much to say about this opinion piece on a newly-published Catcher in the Rye sequel, but I am in awe of the author's haircut.

(via Kevin Wilder.)


not that it makes no nevermind concerning my point about the haircut, but as Galleycat notes, there's something rather hoaxy about this book and its alleged fun-loving Swedish publishers. Maybe there's something hoaxy about the hairdo as well, who knows?

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"My Name is Julia Dales

and I want to win the Beatbox Battle wildcard..."

(via metafilter.)

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In which I share my deep insight into a contemporary techno-cultural phenomenon about which I know precisely nothing

I am quoted in this article about twitter novels.

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Yet More King Dork Flickr

Picture 3.png

(Found here.)

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May 12, 2009

Hold On

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Thought for the Day

The electric guitar is the instrument of modern hubris. It articulates the inarticulate. It supplies a soundtrack for modern Cains and Calibans. The older men may be right. It is not respectable, it is not right... For the electric guitar is an uncivilised instrument, the instrument of primitive release. Guitarists are admired because they cannot write or speak: they play. Hysterically, violently, they play, twisting their revolutionary anger - such as it is - into streams of pure Schopenhauerian will.

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May 11, 2009

I Have Arrived

That is to say, I have been awarded an honorary doctorate from Crawdaddy! University. I have never had anything bestowed upon me before, that I can recall.

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Bedroom Rock


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May 10, 2009



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May 08, 2009

Any Movie News?

Practically every conversation I ever have with anyone eventually gets around to this question. What they're wondering about is the status of potential King Dork film. For some time now I really haven't had much of an answer.

The option was originally acquired by Gary Sanchez Productions (the Will Ferrell/McKay company) and Paramount Vantage. When the option was not renewed in December, the whole thing was kind of in limbo, and frankly its prospects were looking pretty dismal. This happens with many such projects, the vast majority of them, or so I understand.

But as unlikely as it seemed, a new deal was reached just this week. The King Dork movie: it lives. This time around it is Sony Pictures. Same producers (Gary Sanchez.) Seth Gordon, the guy who did King of Kong, is attached to direct.

This doesn't necessarily mean it'll get made but it is way more likely than it was last month.

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You know what's great?

The bass playing on "Point Me in the Direction of Albuquerque."

(And did you know Jerry Vale recorded it, too?)

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May 07, 2009

Been awhile...


I dusted off the old tape deck today to work on some Andromeda Klein songs. I think that's nearly three years of dust.

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