Dr. Frank's What's-it

Don't Call 911

-- At least they didn't shoot the dog.

-- Also, don't get caught whittling.

-- Also don't… well this one is kind of hard to sum up: don't be a male victim of a car accident, get mistaken for and mislabeled as a female cancer patient thirteen years younger than you by the hospital and scheduled for surgery to have a cancerous mass removed from your chest. Then don't figure it out and try to leave the hospital before they cut you open. Actually, I guess that is the right course of action here, considering the alternative, but be prepared to be beaten up by security if you do.

All links from Balko's Agitator.