Ted Barlow has been poking around in the PETA website.
"Whatever else you have to say about the kooky guys 'n' gals of PETA," writes Ted, "they've raised the publicity stunt to an art form. Just from their press releases, they seem less like Earth First! and more like Tom Green."
He's right, as his hilarious selection of examples attests. My favorite: this anti-milk Mothers Day Card:
M is for the cow’s milk that you gave me
O is for the obesity it brought
T is for the tummy cramps that plagued me
H is for the heart disease I’ve got
E is for the earaches that I suffered
R is for my runny nose of snot
Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER"
The milk you fed me sure gave me a lot!"Happy Mother’s Day! Would it have killed you to breast-feed?"