December 18, 2002

H.S. A.R.T. A theatre producer

H.S. A.R.T.

A theatre producer is to face a retrial after a jury today failed to decide whether he had a "lawful excuse" for decapitating a £150,000 statue of Baroness Thatcher.

The defense was based on the defendant's right to "artistic expression and my right to interact with this broken world". He also said that "his sense of 'satirical humour' left him no choice but to carry out the attack."

These excuses don't sound particularly "lawful" to me. If I were to allow my own satirical humor free rein in such a manner, there would not be a statue, monument, government building, street sign, traffic light or community center left standing. I would vandalize all pieces of abstract public art by descending upon them and making them representational. Then I would decapitate the vandalized statues for good measure. I would save the heads and throw them at anyone who dared to look at me cross-eyed. I hate people who do that. They're the worst. Such is the awesome power of my sense of satirical humor.

I guess Thatcher is held in such low regard that it was impossible to gather twelve people who could find it within themselves to disapprove of such a decapitation. I imagine that several of them had a strong sense of satirical humor also. The British love their satirical humor, as we all know. And men dressing as ladies. They love that, too.

Steven Pollard has further detail:

I've just watched the BBC's London news programme and can barely believe my eyes. As the accused left the court, he was asked some inane 'how do you feel' type question. "I can't really say anything until the case is over" was his perfectly proper response. "But I need a job, so if anyone watching has one for me can they get in touch with me via the editor of the Guardian".

Now I have no idea whether or not Alan Rusbridger is acting as this hooligan's employment broker, but why did the BBC feel it appropriate to broadcast such an advert for a man on trial for criminal damage (the report was pre-recorded)?

And why - this is where it gets surreal - did Emily Maitlis, the anchor, then say immediately after the report: "If you know of a job for him, you know what to do".


I know of a job for him, though I'd never go so far as to claim to know what to do. How about this: curator at the Tate Modern. He could put the pile of rocks into one of the rooms full of trash; he could put the other pile of rocks into the room full of trash with the trash taken out of it; he could rotate the sideways urinal. Think what a cricket bat, in the hands of a master, could perform upon the gigantic, non-functional heating duct. See what I mean? There are lots of opportunities for exercising one's sense of satirical humor in there, and lots of items that couldn't but be improved by a little vandalism. And I think, somewhere, there also may be an unmade bed he could make.

Posted by Dr. Frank at December 18, 2002 07:44 AM | TrackBack