April 14, 2005

This wasn't one of those get rich quick schemes. But guess what? I did!

Dear Friend,

You know the feeling...

It's that gnawing feeling that you aren't getting any younger. The world is quickly passing you by and your book isn't written or published or out there. If you don't act soon, it may never happen for you.

You want someone to take you by the hand and show you how to use your abilities to overcome the self-defeating "I don't have enough time, money, intelligence, education, good looks or connections" to make your publishing dreams come true...

I certainly do know that gnawing feeling.

Book Millionaire seems more like an infomercial than "reality" tv, though I'm not sure if it makes that much of a difference. But however you classify it, there is a great deal of enjoyable weirdness to be found on the Book Millionaire website.

Q: At the end of the filming, will a Book Millionaire winner be chosen?

The suspense was killing me, and I guess I wasn't alone, since this is one of the most frequently asked questions concerning the show. As it turns out, the answer is Yes: a Book Millionaire winner will indeed be chosen at the end of the filming. Good call. That does seem like the best way to handle the end of the program. Otherwise, viewers would be disappointed.
The winner of Book Millionaire will be granted the ultimate dream — to enjoy the lifestyle of being a successfully published author. And they will receive additional prizes to help achieve the goal of Best Selling and Celebrity Status and becoming the America’s next Book Millionaire.

So who is on the Book Millionaire Publishing Committee? They haven't been announced yet. But never fear, the hour approaches. And when it arrives:
It will be exciting to release the names of people who are on the "Book Millionaire" Publishing Committee.

You know, that almost goes without saying.

I admit, when I first heard about this show (back in December, from my editor in New York) I had been hoping for something like the Monty Python sketch where Thomas Hardy writes the beginning of The Return of the Native in front of a rowdy bank holiday stadium crowd. ("...he's crossed it out... and he's signed his name underneath it. Oh dear, what a disappointing start...") As it happens, however, contestants on Book Millionaire won't actually have to write their books on the air; they don't really have to write them at all, at least not right away - which is my idea achieving Best Seller and Celebrity Status, I can tell you that right now:

You will complete a series of tasks which pertain to book promotion and living the lifestyle of a best selling author. You will not need to have your own book finished for the filming. Rather, we will use prominent company products and currently published books for the tasks.

The Executive Producer and host is herself the bestselling author of Awaken Your Million-Dollar IntuitionTM, and the creator of the Best Seller and Celebrity Development ProgramTM . If anyone knows about living the lifestyle of the bestselling author, I suppose she would, so this should be good.

I can't wait to read the winning book. And I am totally serious about that.

UPDATE: Of course, I signed up for their content-rich Free Newsletter called Book Millionaire: Launching You to Best Selling and Celebrity Status, mainly because I must know these secrets:

You'll discover how to write your book in less than 30 days spending only 47 minutes a day.

Wrap your hands around this! You'll learn how to be guaranteed your book idea will be a best selling book — even before you write one word!

And this one certainly wouldn't go astray:
banish doubt and fear from your mind — forever!

Best Selling and Celebrity Status here I come.

Posted by Dr. Frank at April 14, 2005 06:02 AM | TrackBack

I think they're *really* throwing the baby out with the bath water on this thing. It should be like "American Idol" [disclosure: I've never watched this, although I did see a few microseconds of a similar Australian show called, I think, "Pop Stars"] where the authors have to compete by, you know, writing. They could compete to see who could write the snappiest thirteen-line opening. It'd be like the Bulwer-Lytton contest! Only a lot less literate.

Maybe they could write just the first thirteen lines, and a computer could take over from there.

Posted by: Angie Schultz at April 14, 2005 06:44 AM

Enough is enough!!!! NO MORE "REALITY TV"!!!! ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Zaphod at April 14, 2005 11:06 AM

I too have said "I don't have enough good looks."

Posted by: lucky409 at April 14, 2005 01:48 PM

I know this is a literary challenge and I truly hope the best/most interesting writer wins, but here's my prediction...The million dollars will go to the broad with the biggest rack.

I can't wait for Frank's review once the winner's book comes out.

Posted by: Tim at April 14, 2005 05:55 PM

I have to agree with Zaphod, bring back the sit com! Fran Drescher has a new show, so that's a start.

Posted by: MandaMagpie at April 14, 2005 06:10 PM

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

Posted by: Elizabeth at April 15, 2005 06:37 AM

Just curious: What's the latest on Book Millionaire?

Posted by: Sheree at August 25, 2005 03:34 PM